Auckland Brownie Blog: June 2015

Brown is the New [Insert Colour Here]

Kia ora, nau mai, hare mai,

This blog serves one purpose, and one purpose only: to give you, the brownie aficionado, confidence in the quality of the brownie you receive in the bustling cosmopolite metropolis of Tāmaki Makaurau.

The humble brownie is the cornerstone of any café or baked goods store's solid consumables menu. Coffee—the café's most admired liquid consumable—has been reviewed to the point of becoming kitsch. The caffeine connoisseur knows where the perfect pours are as well as the rubbish roasts. But what of those seeking the perfect brownie?

Fear not fellow brownie brothers and sisters! You need not be left in the dark standing at the counter pondering if that brown triangle is worth your $4.50 of hard earned currency no more. Alleviating these fears in a chaotic and meaningless post-morden world has become pertinent to the point of being axiomatic. Whence art thou braun Triangel?

Any systematic review system requires a stringent yet unsuperfluous system to review the objects of review. Many systems have tried, and failed, with ostentatious half-points and two-decimal place elucidations. These are complicated and unwarranted. Brownie consumers need a system they can trust at a glance, hence, the "Brownie Points" system I have introduced here. It is a simple five-point rating scale: 1 through 5. Five being perfection; one being abhorrent. No halves, for a halving of a five-point system might as well be a ten-point system, something that brownie consumers have no time to decipher. Like the band: Keep It Simple Stupid. Duh.

So, without further ado, I present the Auckland Brownie Blog.

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Welcome...

Hello and welcome to the blog. Just a brief initial post (see above for more description). Reviews hopefully will begin sometime early next month (July 2015) and will continue ad infinitum on a weekly basis as time and money allow. As my transport options are limited in scope—thank you Auckland public transport, or lack thereof—reviews of brownies outside of the North Shore and central city may be potentially less frequent. However, I will endeavour, in future, to expand reviewing capacities to meet consumers needs.

Thanks,

And remember, the perfect shape for the brownie is the triangle: accept nothing more or less (yes, this includes two-sided shapes).